A little piece that I found and wanted to share..

“Black & white people are not divided. Fools & black people are divided. Racism is not just about white folk or any other ethnicity. Yes, white privilege does exist, but black people shouldn’t make it personal, white people that think they’re privileged because of the color of their skin are mostly arrogant, ignorant dumb fools. Yes, systemic racism & racial police brutality exists & some are intentionally targeted.

Black & brown people are powerful, & the most beautiful, smart, funny & amazing people, not to mention kind & loving, that ever walked this earth & I’ve met. I’ve been called the ‘N’ word throughout my life & made to feel I was not equal to. I have nothing against white people, black & white people were always equal, who I am against & are not equal to are racist fools. Racism is the stupidest most asinine thing that exists, shame on the human race. Many, many people have a lot of catching up to do. I’m waiting…” 


We must change some parts of history for the country, the world and the people, to evolve and to reach true equality..

Statues representing and depicting slavery and racism must come down. Racism hurts, and no one matters in till black lives matter. This/I will not stop in till we reach racial equality. If we make changes for racial equality & fight for these changes & keep up these Confederate statues, it’s contradicting, we need to start from the ground up. If this black lives matter movement dies out (and some people give up, the ones that carry weight and power), then we failed and might as well throw in the towel, give up on this country and give up on people, because they suck. It’s 2020 and some people have been looking at these statues and this ugly part of history since they were alive, it’s soulfully painful. These statues were saying “WE KNOW WHAT THESE STATUES REPRESENT BUT YOU DO NOT MATTER.” the white people that erected them were saying “YOU’RE NOT EQUAL TO US AND WHITE PEOPLE ARE SUPERIOR TO YOU”. People are burning the wrong god damn flag, all the confederate flags that are still out there need to be burned and evaporated and dissolved with the dark part of history. I also think any old movies or minstrel shows depicting blackface should be removed from the archives and never shown again so are country can grow, erease that part of history and move on.

This is one of the first parts of history that has to go for our country to heal & then the real change begins. Covid-19 brought all of us together, and the pandemic was shoved in all our faces no matter what color your skin was, and then the Geroge Floyd incident happened. Some things happen for a reason, this happened for a reason, it was OUR time for a racial justice revolution to begin again, where MLK Jr, Malcolm X, James Baldwin, Nelson Mandela, Marsha P. Johnson, John Lewis and countless others left off. But, it’s a different time now and we have many more resources and growth since their time and we will and can not stop in till visible and real true to the core, deep soulful change and justice has been made. We can do this, we got this. I’m all about peaceful protests and mutual agreement from the states, cities and towns to knock down these ignorant works of hate lawfully. If we’re not all on board the right way then the right change can’t happen.

Real equality can’t happen in the midst of hate. Black and brown people can not feel true and whole justice and equality in till there is social change, change in the police departments, political change, and visual change like statues and hate flags in their communities, especially down South. No one matters & till there is equality & equal justice for black and brown people that were done wrong. I’m not saying that all people do not deserve justice that was done wrong like the indigenous people of the Americas or anyone. The lynching and the disgusting mistreatment of black and brown people have gone long enough to not demand change and equal justice now, it is our biggest fight ever in American history. It’s all around me, it’s in the air, change is coming, the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach won’t go away in till it does.

I’ve waited almost my whole life for this. All due to the mobile phone, thank you..

I was Seven or Eight years old when I was called the ‘N’ word for the first time, and on occasion, rocks were thrown at us all throughout the Three or Four years we lived in this particular New England neighborhood and were old enough to walk to school (later in life the ‘word’ was spewed at me occasionally but less frequent), both my sister and I, who was two years older than me. We lived in a mostly white neighborhood, Irish Catholic I believe, and I guess we were considered ‘brown’ kids, we had a darker complexion and dark brown eyes. It was the late Seventies & early Eighties, the white-as-ivory delinquents didn’t know any better, it was what was happening in their environment and what they saw on television or read in newspapers (if they could even read). Back then I thought about it a lot, I knew it was deep-rooted hate but at the time I didn’t know why (and I could only imagine the racial hate that’s been happening to African Americans for decades, especially down South, and it hurt and affected me deeply). They would scrunch up their face and nose and would clearly and slowly pronounce N-I-G-G-E-R with such venomous hate, and I was in disbelief confused horror. Years after I realized it was systemic racism, an instant uncontrollable thought, a fiber of their being and frame of mind & violent ignorance, or that they truly thought white people were superior to black people, I started dating a guy (total tool with no depth or intelligence) in my late teens and one night out of love and elation (a few beers in me as well) I lifted my arms up over my head and said “I love black people”, he broke up with me the next day.

My eyes are welling up as I write this piece, I’m jubilant and just happy with the current times. The BLM movement and racial injustice protests mean more to me than I realized at first, it was probably just stored away pain or I thought real change would not come of this, I didn’t want to get my hopes up. This is our civil rights movement that happened in the Sixties and I am ecstatic and bursting with excitement for the change that will take place. It is so important that we keep up with these protests and continue until real change takes place (we just now have to wear really cool masks). Political change and changes within police departments and the prison justice system can happen very soon but I think it will take a couple of years for deep-rooted systemic racism and true racial equality & racial justice to take place, but hey I could be wrong (they’re just hopeful heartfelt thoughts), It takes longer to get out of a hateful mess than to start one. These are historic, amazing, and important times we’re living in and the civil unjust that has been happening for many, many years after the civil rights movement, well we now have proof, smartphones. We had video proof for years now but I think I and Americans had just reached a point where we can not take it anymore and things must change for our well-being, country, livelihood & state of mind, emotionally and mentally. Enough is enough!

I think we need to have a female VP nominee of color to keep this movement going and stay alive and last for years and years, and to make a strong statement. We all have been waiting for many years for this and there’s no way in hell we can stop now. If I had a ton of money I would start an organization and try to make sure these protests and the BLM movement continue and never dies out until real, significant & visible change has been made. Please, everyone, keep in mind that you do not have to be black or come from a first or second generation of African American descent to start another BLM movement or organization. Fight, fight, fight, peacefully of course.

Systemic racism is a cancer that started from slavery & grew. It needs to be eradicated, & America needs to catch up..

I struggle with promoting the phrase ‘Black Lives Matter’ or the hashtag on social media (not the organization). It’s a controversial statement to me, it’s a contradiction, like they’re not equal to or do not have the same rights, I feel more comfortable using the organization’s @blklivesmatter handle or the hashtag #racialinequality & #racialinjustice. We desperately need real change & bring awareness to racial inequality, & the BLM movement protests does that. Myself and many, many others have been writing and fighting about racial injustice, police brutality against black men, boys & women, & for real change & equality for years.

When I see and hear about racial injustice, it’s deeply rooted systemic racism that goes back to slavery, the civil rights movement in the Sixties made significant improvement but it did not change the way some people think or their frame of mind. Systemic racisim is a frame of mind. So when a white person is with a POC & they’re confronted with systemic racism, & the way you thought for years (It’s ingrained in some peoples minds for centuries) STOP, clear your thoughts and frame of mind, change your way of thinking, you’re just two people that are equal and are the same race & you don’t know that person. That is my frame of mind, that is my thinking, I grew up in a multicultural & multiethnic environment and grew up thinking we’re all equal & there is one race, the human one. This does not apply to deep rooted hate rasicts that will always have the same frame of mind, ignorance.

Once everyone realizes systemic racism is a frame of mind & a way of thinking they can stop it from happening. There’re good & bad white people, there’re good & bad black people. For instance when a police officer pulls over a black man you can not have the same way of thinking that has been ingrained in some for years or from past bad experiences you had or heard about, you just don’t know that person. Cops need sharp instincts (it’s apart of their job) so use your instincts that you were trained for rather than the color of their skin. The only way to eradicate systemic racism is by the way we think and our frame of mind, and I will never stop writing about this in till it is.


Don’t do it..

This will be short & very simple & straight to the truth… If Kavanaugh is nominated we’re taking a step backward towards the amazing, exciting & exhilarating progress for women from the ‘Me too’ movement, that some of us have been waiting years & years for real change. We have it & we can taste it! If Brett Kavanaugh is nominated WE’RE saying that power & greed is higher & more important than a woman’s right, than a woman’s shame & embarrassment, & more importantly the amazing change & progress we made (do not sweep all this under the rug)!!

Don’t do it, let’s keep REAL change going. Just think of the guts & bravery of Dr. Christine Ford coming fourth & testifying, of course she is telling the truth, why the hell would she go through all that?! She went through that for her dignity & pride & to tell the f’ing truth! Don’t do it, don’t take a step back & take away our progress, make an example out of Mr. Kavanaugh, sorry guy you’re at the wrong place ( the right place for women) & the wrong time. Take one for the team Mr. Kavanaugh, the women’s team, stay off the bench Brett, us women would really appreciate it.

Touchy subject..

So, I see a lot of other ethnicities attacking Caucasians: ‘white people’ in the news & on social media lately. There’re a lot of racists who are white (There’re racists in every ethnic background. & this is NOT a piece about stereotyping, at all!). What I am defending is, that Caucasians are the majority and outweigh the minority in the US, no one should be attacked for that. I get frustrated with white people all the time, about racism, fascism, superiority or whatever (mainly because it’s 2018 & they should not be the majority in the US anymore). I don’t get frustrated because they’re white, I get frustrated with them because they’ve been the majority for so long in the US, & with comes majority comes pride. I attack (If need be) & get frustrated at the person & the majority & not the color of their skin. I guess what I’m trying to say is: To other ethnicities, ease up on the white folk.

Hold on tight folks, in 2030-2040 we will be one happy mixture (I have been waiting for a very long time for that). Caucasians will not be the majority, not saying there will be no more white people that are racists (there’ll always be racists in every ethnicity) but they will not express their hatred out loud (well unless they’re stupid) simply because they do not outweigh the minority. And when that day comes racism will be wiped out a little each day. This has been on my mind bugging me & now it’s off. Oh, & if I hear people saying ‘different races’ one more time, I’m gonna scream! For the 500th time ( for me) there is only one race.


“Matty can you turn the music down, I can’t hear myself think” as 30 something Lauren brushes her platinum blonde mane while brushing her teeth. Matty grunts back, “Yeah”. “Hey, are you working today?” Lauren shouts back “Ya, going into the office for three hours to write two pieces that are stuck in my head & then I have a hair appointment”. “Hold on L someone is at the door” he swaggers to the door. three seconds later, “Lauren there is a girl here to see you”, “Who is it?” “Egg, (as he softly laughs) she said her name is Egg?” while walking towards the back of the house. Lauren walks to the door as she eyes a petite girl with a dark brown bob & an emerald nose ring “Hi, I’m Lauren can I help you with something?” “Hi Lauren, pretty name, by the way, I’m Anna Mancini, you donated an egg 18 years ago & well, I’m it (with an awkward smile)!”. Slightly stunned “You’re beautiful Anna, (feeling light-headed) um, do you want to come in”, ” Sure, thank you. Sorry to come so early and unannounced, I’m a student at Laguna Beach High school, I have a bad case of senioritis & skipping school to come to see you”. “Uh-oh, I hope that’s okay?”, “No worries it is, I’m all caught up with my studies & basically it’s ‘smooth sailing’ until I graduate”, “Okay, good” Lauren adds quickly.

Anna, both excited & nervous asks “Am I catching you at a bad time?”, “No, I was just on my way to the office for a couple of hours, would you like to come with me, some people bring their dogs to work so I’m sure it’s not a problem bringing a kid” Anna laughs. “Oh my god sorry, I didn’t mean for it to come out like that”, laughing “No worries I knew what you meant, sure!”, excited “OK, cool. Let me grab my bag & we can be off!”. As the girls walk to Lauren’s car, Anna asks “What do you do?”, “I’m a writer”. “Cool! I want to be a painter, well I am one know but would love to make a living at it!”, “Sweet, I can I see your work sometime?”. “YEAH, of course, I would love to show you!”. “Will your parents be mad that you’re here?”, “No, they’re cool. they trust me.” She smiles at Anna. Anna with her nose crinkled looking at Lauren “We have the same shaped eyes”, Lauren sticks out her long neck & peers in “What do ya know, we do. Your eye color is hazel, so pretty”, “Thank you, yours are too, dark brown?”, “Yup”!

As they both walk into her office building. Lauren sees Joe casually leaning himself at the reception desk. “Hey Joe, this is my new friend Anna (as she winks at her)!”, “Well hello there Anna, it’s nice to meet you!”, Anna shyly smiles while looking at the large male adult “Hi”. The girls are walking to Laurens cubicle, Anna brightly chirps “I turned eighteen yesterday!”, “Happy Birthday!”. “I wanted to meet you the second I became an adult but my annoying parents insisted on having a dinner & a cake, gag”. They laugh in unison, Lauren chirps back “I’m honored!”. Lauren sits in front of her computer & Anna plops down on the swivel chair & swivels around. “What do you write?”, Lauren contently smiles “I write announcements, Birthdays, wedding, engagements, births & anniversaries for The Laurel Canyon Ledger”, Anna chimes in “Cool”!. “What do you like to do Anna when you’re not painting or in school”, “I like to play with my little brother Milo, he’s three. I like to bake, watch movies & hang out with my friends”. “Are any of those ‘friends’ a special someone male, or female?” Anna goofily giggles, “Oh. sorry was that too forward or personal?” Anna, smiling from ear to ear “No, not at all, I think my friend Adam is smokin’ hot!”, a wide-eyed smiling Lauren “Nice!”. “So who was the guy who answered the door?”, with an easy going reply “Ahhhh that would be Matty, my soul spirit”. “Soul spirit? Cool, I never heard it used that way before”. “So, OK Anna I have to write an engagement of a same-sex couple & both of their names are Mary, you wanna help?”, “Sure, that sounds fun. Mary Mary, I love how our garden grows”, School-girl laughter erupts in unison.

Walking back to the car two hours later, Lauren turns to Anna “Are you hungry?”, “Starving!”, “OK then, let’s feed that belly”. Both with excited smiles as they hop in the car. “This is so easy, the conversation, my demeanor, it comes so naturally. I was so nervous.” Anna anxiously states, “I know what you mean & you’re right, it does” Lauren with her care-free reply, “Oh, & you never have to be nervous around me, please don’t. Feel free to talk about anything, my ears will always be attentive”. Anna shyly smiles. “So what are you in the mood for, burgers/sandwiches, salads, soup?”, Anna quips “Sushi?”. “Ahhhh a girl after my own heart, Sushi it is”. They’re delightfully dipping their colorful square fish in green gold & soy sauce. Lauren is blissfully content filling her belly with goodness “So tell me about your mom and dad!” Anna looks up while thinking “My dad Brian is so cool, he is a writer as well and a musician. He’s Italian & Latino”, “Wow that’s a nice ethnic mix, do you have a picture of him?” Anna pulls out her phone, Lauren is peering in “Oh my god he is so handsome”, “Thank you, I love my mom too”. “OK then” a soft laugh erupts from Lauren. Anna joins in “No, my mom is so loving and attentive, it’s just my dad is my best friend”. Anna takes her phone to Laurens’ face “Here’s my mom”, Lauren is looking at a face of an Indian woman with sea blue eyes. “Oh MY god Anna, she is beautiful!”, “I know, she is! She was born in Mumbai. She is a child psychologist”. “So tell me about your parents, oh & why did you donate an egg, thank you by the way?”, “You’re very welcome! OK well let’s see, my dad died when I was 8, cancer, & my mom was a fashion model in the 80’s & 90’s, now she is a fashion show designer & humanitarian. She organizes a lot of women’s foundations. Oh, wait for it (she pulls out her phone & sticks it in Anna’s face)”. “Oh my god Lauren your mother & I have the same exact nose!”, “I know right!”, “I can’t wait to meet her if you want me to, that is”, “Oh my, of course, I would love that!”. Lauren ponders “OK, so the donor egg question. Well, I was just starting my last year of college & I read an ad a couple, your parents were looking for a donor & would pay 20 grand, & as a poor college student my eyes widened, plus I thought it would be so cool to give a life to a childless couple”. “Cool, what did you do with the money, if you don’t mind me asking?”, “No, not at all. Books, tuition & I bought a car(with a bright smile)!”, Anna laughs. They get up & exit the restaurant. As they’re walking to the car, Lauren excitedly asks “Oh I have a hair appointment, do you want to come along? We can make it a spa day, my treat!”, “For sure!”

The girls are lounging in black puffy chairs while getting their toe & fingernails primped. “Oh, my god Lauren what happened to your big toe, it’s crooked with a blue tint!”, “Yeah, I know, thanks for the reminder. My first boyfriend dropped a 75-pound dumbbell on it, & it’s permanently blue”, Anna’s nose is crinkled “Eww. ouch”, they laugh in unison. “So, Anna what kind of hairstyle are you thinking about?”, “Hmmm platinum blonde with black tips on the ends (proud & confident)!”, “Oh, I don’t know, I don’t want to get in trouble with your parents”, “Oh, no it’s cool, my mother and I talk about me having that same color, a change-up since I’m graduating, it’s fine!”, “OK, Oh, where are you going to college in the fall?”, “an art school in LA”. Lauren smiles at hearing the location. Lauren walks out of the massage area, stunned while looking at Anna “Wow, you look beautiful”, “Thank you, oh can you take my pic so I can text it to my mom?”, “Sure, Oh who does she thinks you’re with?” , “Oh, my friend Julie, I think. Don’t worry I’m going to tell her all about you when I get home. We already talked about this before I turned eighteen. She’s gonna be so happy for me!”. Lauren is looking at Anna in awe, she puts her head down & gently weeps, “Lauren (worried) what’s wrong?”, “I’m…I’m just so happy you came into my life, I thought about this for eighteen years, ever since I made the donation & if anything came of it. I just want to be your friend & be there for you for the rest of my life. And give you whatever you want & need, whether it be money, emotional support, anything!” Anna is teary & quickly springs up from her seat “Awwww. I want us to be more than friends. Like sisters, best friends, family!”, “I would love that!”, the two tightly embrace. They’re walking back to Lauren’s car, she stops “Hey, Egg? (Anna smiles while turning her head towards Lauren’s face), I have a confession to make, I hope you don’t mind me saying this, but It will not take me more than two days to fall madly in love with you, kiddo (as she scruffles Anna’s black & blonde bob)”. Anna is beaming from ear to ear “Fine by me!”.

Christine Krantz copyrighted 2018

“Oh, no she di’nt”..

So, a few months back I was at a bar/club with some fine R&B pulsating throughout & dancing at the upstairs part of the establishment. I was in the corner w/some friends celebrating one of their birthdays & enjoying my mojito & the beats. Two of them dispersed to find a bathroom or grab a drink, I was contently looking around people watching & noticed a guy in the next corner about three feet away looking at me, I caught his eye & he caught mine. He had the most beautiful silky dark brown clear skin. I was looking out into the colorful lit dance floor, looked to my right & silky skin guy was looking at me & I did not look away. I raised my glass & said “Hey” & we walked towards each other, met halfway & stopped.

The conversation was easy, we liked each other’s smiles, we were cute haha. There were two girls next to us sharing a scorpion bowl, he was not with them. One of the girls looked like the shooter girl from earlier, the girl walking around with her tray selling colorful shooter shots downstairs. I glanced over & she glanced back “Oh, do you work here?” I said, “Uh no” she replied as in ‘bitch please’. “Oh, you look exactly like the girl from earlier selling the shooter shots” & turned all my attention to him, ‘the easy like Sunday morning’ guy.

We were chatting it up, talking about where we were from & what we did (I could feel the look-alike shooter girl looking and listening to me). We started dancing, well I was doing a goofy dance around him while he was keeled over smiling & then started dancing together. “I’ll be right back, you wanna drink?” he said, “No, I’m good. Oh, wait I’ll have a water, can you get me a water?” He nodded. The girl drinking the scorpion bowl made a b-line right towards him while he was at the bar. She was talking & I could feel what it was about & then they were talking together. I walked over to get a water & he walked over towards the bathrooms, she was staring at me “Is there a problem?” I asked, “No”, “Do you know him?” “No”, she said. “Because it seems like you have a problem or there is a problem & you confronted him about us or me”. & she gave me a whatever sneer, I said calmly “Just stay out of my business” & she pushed my shoulder with her hand, not a whole lot gets me mad, that did. Louder, “Stay the fuck out of my business & don’t touch me, bitch!”, I was horrified that I said that. What got me so mad was, she ‘thought’ she was intitled & it was her God-given right & her ALL & EVERY right to intervene & get in our business because her skin color was darker than mine, & she & he were more black than I. & she didn’t even know my ethnicity (actually I’m not, well if you even consider a little Spanish & African a lil’ blackish)! Next thing I know a swarm of six-foot-tall bouncers surrounded that girl & I, most were black, some were not, tensions were high. A calm bouncer approached me smiling “You wanna go downstairs?” he asked “Yes” & as we were walking away I looked back at the guy & he & I were looking sweetly into each other’s eyes, & I know for a fact we were both singing the Adele song to ourselves “We could’ve had it allllllllllllllll all all” as I was walking away.

I would never in my life recognize Divine or Daniel (I forget was a few months ago) if I ever saw him again. & the GIF above looked nothing like her, just thought it was funny. Actually, she was really petite & looked like a light-skinned Pam Grier. After the fact she had her head down & was a doe-eyed mute feeling guilty or trying to look all innocent, pathetic! I guess the point I’m trying to get across, is African American racial struggles really hurt me deep down, I can sometimes take it to heart & personal. And maybe the fact that I was a little older & our mindsets were different, but over a lighter fucking skin tone, she thought it was ALL her right to intervene & get in my business like that? Oh, no she di’nt! That guy & I were really enjoying talking to each other.

As I’m waiting outside my friends stumble out of the bar laughing their asses off, I lift up both of my arms over my head & yell “I JUST GOT KICKED OUT OF A BAR, I’M A WARRIOR”. I think the last time I got kicked out of a bar was in my early twenties when my friend got caught smoking weed in the bathroom stall out West. So myself & my hooligan lady pack went to the little dive around the corner. I wish more people could feel or be completely free, like the writer Candace Owens & not feel strapped to their past (her written words), or think any other ethnicity thinks that. But, then again everyone has their own individual story & you cannot stereotype or know how they’re feeling.

If equal pay & gender equality is prevalent in some companies and towns, it would be great if that could be spread out into the universe & have it be affected globally. K, thanks..

I’m sometimes puzzled when I hear about the gender equality & equal pay fight, protests & struggles in the news & globally. I’ve had groups of guy friends where gender equality was equal, & worked on sales teams w/both guys & gals in the office where we were paid equally for the same job. Gender equality really hasn’t affected me personally, & equal pay in the office, that I know of. So when I hear it happening, to me it seems like it’s happening in a parallel universe. But, I know it’s real & I want it to change (not really sure on how I go about that, though). I want to see real change in the near future, badly.

“Don’t shoot!”..

In the early 80’s myself, parents, sister & two brothers moved into our suburban three level house w/an attic (yes it was big for our little beings & bodies). A month before we moved, my sister would ask me every night before falling asleep in our shared bedroom “Do you want to move?” Yes, she was the annoying sister, intentionally of course. So that summer move-in day on a Saturday arrived. The elderly man/owner died in one of the rooms of our new house, that is actually one cool & a little creepy part of the story. The real estate agent mentioned to my parents that the previous owner owned a gun, hidden somewhere in the house, he had no relatives or he didn’t tell anyone so no one knew where. When my parents relayed the news to us out of caution, our little eyes widened up w/excitement upon hearing, to kids ‘it was hella cool news’. So the race & treasure hunt began for myself & my siblings to find it. So the whole summer we looked all over, thoroughly. Up & down, high & low & by the end of summer our young tired minds were sure the gun was not in OUR house. Even at one point, I almost convinced my parents to bash down a wall, I was so sure it was behind this particular wall. After this walls wallpaper was stripped off there was a sketch of a skeleton playing the piano (& it was a really good drawing too, not from an amateur). I screamed, “THE GUN IS IN THE WALL, I KNOW IT IS!” My parents turned to look at each other & I was gone, went off looking for a sledgehammer and when I returned I knew bashing in a wall was too good to be true by my parent’s expressions. “No, we’re not knocking down this wall. If the gun is behind there, it will keep us safe & is staying there.” So, convinced once again that the gun ‘was’ in our house, behind the wall, my siblings & I started our new school year & eventually forgot about it.

A few months later as I was looking out the window that winter day, at 8 inches of snow I yelled, “Yeah, no school” & did a happy dance in my pink onesies! My older brother & sister & I were up in the playroom on the 3rd floor (my little brother was downstairs). My brother John was rolling around the room on this little square wooden bench w/wheels, he had his hands underneath it to support himself. All I heard him say was “A trap door”, as he slid it open he pulled out a box of bullets. I watched as all this unfold with razor sharp focus ready to jump in & try to avert the problem, then he pulled out another box & opened it & screamed, “It’s a gun”! He then pointed in my sister’s direction & she screamed, I shot up quick on my feet realizing with a solution & ran downstairs to my mother screaming, “MA, WE FOUND THE GUN!” Everything was a blur after that, so she must’ve ran up the stairs grabbed the bullets & gun & hid them till my father got home. Hours later I watched my dad take the gun out of the box in the kitchen, knowing it didn’t have any bullets in it, he put only his arm w/the gun in hand out the back door pointed up & pulled the trigger….The gun w/out bullets didn’t go off. A couple of weeks later my father came home from work & said “We’re going to the gun range with Mr. McKenzie, the guy I work with tomorrow, he owns guns”, I didn’t know how or what to think about that. So my turn was up, it was an outside range. My father had to hold my eight-year-old frame down by my shoulders so I wouldn’t thrust back ten feet & crack my head. I don’t know about my head cracking, but I do know after shooting it if he didn’t secure me by my shoulders I surely would’ve shot back ten feet & landed on my ass.

I didn’t enjoy the experience, it was not pleasant or thrilling for me at all (& I was young, if I didn’t enjoy shooting a gun as a kid I definitely wouldn’t enjoy it as an adult). And I have no desire to shoot a gun at a range ever again.