Don’t do it..

This will be short & very simple & straight to the truth… If Kavanaugh is nominated we’re taking a step backward towards the amazing, exciting & exhilarating progress for women from the ‘Me too’ movement, that some of us have been waiting years & years for real change. We have it & we can taste it! If Brett Kavanaugh is nominated WE’RE saying that power & greed is higher & more important than a woman’s right, than a woman’s shame & embarrassment, & more importantly the amazing change & progress we made (do not sweep all this under the rug)!!

Don’t do it, let’s keep REAL change going. Just think of the guts & bravery of Dr. Christine Ford coming fourth & testifying, of course she is telling the truth, why the hell would she go through all that?! She went through that for her dignity & pride & to tell the f’ing truth! Don’t do it, don’t take a step back & take away our progress, make an example out of Mr. Kavanaugh, sorry guy you’re at the wrong place ( the right place for women) & the wrong time. Take one for the team Mr. Kavanaugh, the women’s team, stay off the bench Brett, us women would really appreciate it.

My Dog..

When I picked up My Dog from the breeders, there were about two or three chocolate lab pups to choose from. Two of them were hyper & jumpy & trying to bite my ears, my pup came shyly up to me. She was timid & gently started licking my feet and legs (it was summertime), I found my pup at that moment.

My Dog, was right by my bedside when I came down with a rare bacterial illness & was gutted like a fish & had some of my insides ripped out and rearranged & could not walk for a few weeks. When the home nurse had to come over to change the dressing, My Dogs little brown nose would pop up against the edge of the high bed to make sure the nurse was doing a good job.

My Dog would wedge herself between myself & alcohol- induced-breath soccer fans when they would sit down an inch away from me at the huge-open field park while watching soccer games on the weekends. I don’t have My Dog right now, she’s not living with me. No, I didn’t put her up for adoption so she would have a better home like you would a child, she’s staying with family & I see her often. I needed to leave my old apt quickly, it was a slight dire of a situation. Now it wasn’t as dire as a war torn coutry were innocent children need to flee from having their limbs blown off. After I found an apt & was told My Dog was allowed & paid a deposit, & after that I was told she was not able to stay here but this story is not about that.

On Sunday My Dog will have another adventure & will be staying in Plymouth, MA (the land of freedom & friends sharing a meal) for a month (I’ll have her every other weekend). I’m thinking of this adventure that started early this week as an opportunity for My Dog to have new adventures & meet new people. She’s eight now & this will be the longest we’ve been apart. She’ll be mine in til her last pant.

Christine Krantz copyrighted 2018

Touchy subject..

So, I see a lot of other ethnicities attacking Caucasians: ‘white people’ in the news & on social media lately. There’re a lot of racists who are white (There’re racists in every ethnic background. & this is NOT a piece about stereotyping, at all!). What I am defending is, that Caucasians are the majority and outweigh the minority in the US, no one should be attacked for that. I get frustrated with white people all the time, about racism, fascism, superiority or whatever (mainly because it’s 2018 & they should not be the majority in the US anymore). I don’t get frustrated because they’re white, I get frustrated with them because they’ve been the majority for so long in the US, & with comes majority comes pride. I attack (If need be) & get frustrated at the person & the majority & not the color of their skin. I guess what I’m trying to say is: To other ethnicities, ease up on the white folk.

Hold on tight folks, in 2030-2040 we will be one happy mixture (I have been waiting for a very long time for that). Caucasians will not be the majority, not saying there will be no more white people that are racists (there’ll always be racists in every ethnicity) but they will not express their hatred out loud (well unless they’re stupid) simply because they do not outweigh the minority. And when that day comes racism will be wiped out a little each day. This has been on my mind bugging me & now it’s off. Oh, & if I hear people saying ‘different races’ one more time, I’m gonna scream! For the 500th time ( for me) there is only one race.

Sophie James..

Waking up hungover from a night of partying. Sophie James, a tall slender hard-headed twenty-one-year-older reaches over without looking grabbing the 20oz plastic bottle of Diet Pepsi from her nightstand. Taking a swig, she feels an object on her lip, spitting out liquid “What the fuck?” she snaps. Dropping the bottle to the floor, dirty water and a cigarette butt come streaming out. Grabbing the 2nd 20oz half bottle of Diet Pepsi from the nightstand, taking a swig while heading into the kitchen. Walking in she sees her roommate John Dahl a laid-back cool twenty-something musician eating a scrambled egg and cheese sandwich on an English muffin sitting at the table. “Hey, John”, “Hey, Did I take some girls lipstick last night, found it in the pocket of my jeans this morning?”, laughing “Yeah, she made fun of your ears and got right in your face, stuck her tongue out and sang “Ahhhhhh”. Then pulled it out of her pocket to put on, you grabbed it and walked away.”. laughing back “Oh right, she called me Dumbo. She was making fun of the band’s lead singer and I said: “Well, why don’t you go up there & sing then”. “What the fuck, my ears don’t even stick out that much! She was annoying, little punk.” Sophie grabs the pot of freshly made coffee and pours it into a coffee cup sitting on the counter. Heads to the fridge and grabs the orange juice grabs a glass from the cupboard and pours. “John, what are you doing today?” “Got band practice at noon for an hour, then meeting the queen for lunch. Want to meet us at The Garden on Sunset around 1?”, “Yeah def, it’s always a pleasure seeing the queen. I’ll text ya when I arrive, I can’t get there till around 1:30”, “Cool”.

Sophie is laying on a red velvet couch wearing a long white men’s button-down shirt with the stem of a red rose in her mouth. Thirty-something Ritchie is photographing her. “Nice Sophie, now tilt your head all the way back over the side”, “Nice Sophie, now tilt your head all the way back over the side”. He moves closer to the couch shooting her from all sides and angles. “Nice, now put the stem behind your ear so just the bud is sticking out”, Sophie obliges. Ritchie quips “OK, look down”, Sophie interjects “I wanna try somethin’ “, Taking the rose and placing it down her shirt so just the bud is sticking out at the top of her blouse, Richie is into it “Cool I like it”. Ritchie grabs a hat from the bag on the floor with the logo “The Pythia” on the front tosses it to Sophie, she tosses it right back, “No”, unassuming Ritchie “Why?”, “Because this is not ‘I’m my father’s daughter’ shoot.”, caught off guard “I just thought it would be cute”, “No, I know you didn’t mean anything by it, he’s a rock legend & is important to people. I just wanna be known for something other than ‘that’.”, “Fair enough. Now eyes wide, mouth open & stick that tongue out!” He chuckles “Yeah, just like that Soph.”

Sophie is walking onto the patio, she eyes John and his mother forty-ish Linda Dahl forties, in the back left corner. Sophie’s attention is on Linda “Hi, Linda”, “Hi hun, how are you?”, “Great! Did you two order yet?”, John chimed in “Just drinks, we were waiting for you.”, “Oh, good I’m starving! How was practice?”, “It was alright,. Tim the new drummer was stoned out of his mind. In the middle of the song, he would zone out and start drumming beats to a whole other song”. Sophie Laughs, “Not funny”, “It’s a little funny. He was changing his tune!” Sophie & Linda laugh in unison, “Lovely, just lovely (Linda is waving to the waitress)”. The waitress approaches, “Hello all, (To Sophie) can I get you a drink?”, “Coors light and a Diet Coke” The waitress nods. All three are eating various mixed salads. Soda, water, and beer are on the table. John’s eyeing Sophie while eating “So hows your shoot?”, “OK. Think I got some cool shots out of it and it’s paying the bills. He wanted me to wear a hat with my dad’s band logo on it.”, “Oh, how did that go?”, “It didn’t”. Annoyed Linda harps in “Well, I think it’s insensitive and rude for people to bring up your dad so easily, like they have some sort of right. It’s disrespectful and foolish, especially when one takes their own life so tragically!”, “Oh, I forgot. I forgot why I loved you ( Sophie happily chirps while flashing a smile).”, “Right back atcha!”. “I’m just so SICK of people’s mindsets & the way some people think! Just because my dad’s life ended tragically and so well known, my life or parts of it somehow mirrors that. Or I’m just lost or not well adjusted. It pisses me off! I don’t know if it’s cynicism or laziness and they immediately think that without ‘thinking’. Tragedy doesn’t define us. Plus, it’s about protecting my father’s image as well. Whatever it is I want to change that” John trying to lighten things up “You go, girl”, Sophie is sticking her tongue out “I will! Ahhhhh dork.”, “Gross, you have salad all over your tongue!” Sophie laughs.

Sophie enters a downtown LA office building. She enters through the Egan Law Firm office door. She politely announces to the receptionist that she is here, “Hey, Sophie have a seat Jamie will be right out.”, “Thank you!”. Ten minutes later Jamie Egan, a tall lanky fella, fifties with thick salt & black pepper hair “Hi Sophie, how are you?”, “Great thanks, & you?”, “I can’t complain (flashing a kind smile) oh & hope your grandma is well too, walking to his office, attentive “Sophie have you heard from your mother’s lawyer?, “No (worried) what’s wrong?”, “Don’t worry there’s’ nothing wrong, we’ll talk and go over everything once we sit in my office”, A shaky Sophie “Okay”. Sophie is sitting in an oversized brown leather recliner looking like she’s thirteen, “What brings you here in the middle of the month?”, “I wanted to get a cash advance on my monthly stipend”, he casually obliges “Sure no problem!”, “So now on to your mother, her lawyer called me two days ago, she is up for early parole & if she is approved she would have done around 5 of her eight-year manslaughter sentence. Which if you ask me is very good & both of you are very lucky & you should be very pleased, perturbed “Wait, what? Manslaughter? God, I hate hearing that, it was self-defense!”, “Sophie, Carrie, your mother was heavily intoxicated, he had blood & bruises on his face & back. And she had his blood under her fingernails when she maced him & stabbed him to death four times. Yes, her lawyer, DA & the judges knew about his past physical abuse with your mother and other women, & that’s what her lawyer was passionately fighting for”, angrily “My mom’s cuts & bruises were much worse than his, my stepdad got what he deserved if you asked me”, “Sophie, the ‘heavily intoxicated’ part was the reason for the non-acquittal”. “Jamie, I’m getting a little sick of coming here each month for MY money”, “When you turn twenty-five you will never have to visit here again, well on a professional visit that is, you’re like a 2nd daughter to me & I care about you”, I’m having my photographs showcased at an art gallery downtown next month, I can email you an invite”, “great, I’d love that!”.

Sophie & John are quenching their thirst with a few suds at the local dive bar. “Your dad’s birthday is next wk, do you want to get wasted, eat massive amounts of cake & listen to his music all night?”, “Yeah def!” John slightly tilts his head in gentle wonder “Do you have any memories of him?” Sophie happily chimes in “I have one or two, him giving me a bath & me sitting on top of his shoulders but I don’t know if they’re just dreams & I’ve mistaken them for reality.”, “How old were you when he died again, I wanna say two?”, “I was one, two weeks shy of turning two.”. “Oh, right!”. Sophie quickly changing the subject “Actually, my birthday is in two weeks, wanna come over to grandma’s next Sunday for dinner?:, “Yeah, totally.”. Sophie is in thought, turns to John “My mom is up for parole next wk.”, ” Wow, really? That’s great! that went fast, what was it 5-6 years?” Sophie nods. Sophie’s phone starts to vibrate, she looks down & springs up from her seat “John, I gotta go (grabbing her purse)”, “Well wait, what about your tacos?”, Wrap them up & bring them home with you”. John doesn’t know what to do with himself, Sophie scurries out.

Sophie is lying on her bed while staring at her ph, she sits upright & taps the keypad. A mans voice echoes throughout the room while the call is on speaker ” Piccard law, Evan speaking”, “Hi, Evan this is Sophie, Carrie James’ daughter”, “Oh right, good timing I was just about to call you. How are you doing?”, “Doing well, thanks. My lawyer told me My mother was up for early parole, what are her chances of being released?”, “Excellent, she was an upstanding inmate, teaching the other to draw and paint, also the younger ones helping them study for their GED. Plus we have many prior police reports of abuse towards your mother from your stepdad Brian” Sophie interjects “I KNOW, I’m still angry she was even charged, she was just fighting back” Evan urgently responds “Sophie, it’s the whole, ‘highly intoxicated’ part that did not work in her favor, & it looked like a mutual physical fight, & some of the police reports your mom filed against him in the past I did not have access to, they somehow ‘went missing’ at the time, I have them now! Also, it made matters worse that her appeal was denied!” Sophie snaps back “Such BullShit”! “I know, it haunts me to this day. I have been writing & rewriting my speech that IS going to get your mother the hell out of there, I will never stop fighting for her until she’s out!”, I know you will, thank you!”, “Oh, where will she go when she gets out?”, “She’ll go to a halfway house for her parole officer to keep an eye on her in till she’s stronger and well assimilated with the happenings of the world, & she mentioned getting a place & living with you when she gets out.”, Oh, I don’t know about that, what if I’m not ready, & it’s not like she’s been there for twenty years?”, “I know but it’s still an adjustment. Don’t worry we will work things out and make other arrangements.”, “Okay Evan, thank you!” She leaps up off her bed heads into the kitchen, grabs a Coors Light & hops on the treadmill.

Standing out in front of the Bakersfield Correction facility, Sophia sees her mom walking through a large gate into the parking lot, she raises her arms high above her head, laughing & smiling from ear to ear “MOOOOOOOOOOOOM HA-HA, YOU’RE HERE!”, “HELLO, MY LOVE! I’ve been dreaming of this day for five years!” Sophie is at the wheel driving them back to LA, “So how’s ma?”, “You mean grandma, ma? I know she partially raised me, but you were & are my mother.”, “I know hun, so where do you want to eat (overly excited smile)”? In unison “IN-N-OUT BURGER (Both in laughter)!”. I’ve been missing Mick, your dad, Sophie (Somberly).”, “Me too mom. So what do you want to do, for work, when you get settled”?, “Oh, I don’t want to think about that right now. I just want to sit next to you & look at your face for a few months.”, Sophie sweetly smiles.

Sophie in a silver tank top & a black mini skirt is walking down Sunset Boulevard. A male passerby driving in a convertible, top down screeches “Sophia, YOU’RE HOT, & your dad is a rock god!” Sophia is pleasantly amused & flashes the ‘heavy metal sign’. & walks along. She takes a shortcut & heads down a dim-lit alley. A guy walking by her in the opposite direction with his head down passes, he comes up from behind wrapping one arm around her neck & and his other hand pulling her head back with her hair. In a scratchy breathy voice, “I want you, I want your insides.”, her inner warrior screams back “Like fuck you do!” A bolt of energy went through her & she howled like a dying animal, bit his arm & kicked him wherever from behind & ran the fuck out of there. Once back at her place, alone, she poured a tall glass of vodka, almost to the rim & a tablespoon of orange juice, popped an Ativan, smoked a cigarette, while shaking the whole time, took a shower & went to bed.

Sophie is sitting at the kitchen table drinking coffee, John walks in “Hey.”, Sophie did not respond, John turned towards her and Sophie is quietly weeping. Wide-eyed, concerned, “Whats wrong!” Sophie quietly responds, “I was walking to the restaurant last night to meet Amy & Julie, & I took a shortcut down an alley, It was a stupid move, I know, & this drugged out creep cam at me from behind & threatened me with rape. I started kicking & screaming & bit his arm & ran like hell. He did not hit or hurt me!”, Oh, my god, the fucking scumbag. Are you alright?”, “I will be.”, “Are you going to file a police report?”, “No, I did not see his face nor his clothes it was one big blur. If the fucker physically hurt me I would.”, “And it’s NOT your fault people walk down those alleys all the time & it’s usually safe!”. Sophie wipes her eyes with a tissue & blows her nose, “John will you come to the Enough is Enough violence equal rights rally with me Saturday in downtown, I have something to say?”, “YEAH!”. Sophie & John are heading to downtown LA, “So do you have a speech written?”, “Yes, it’s written all in my head”. They hope out of their car, both are looking around, a nervous Sophie, “My god there’s got to be around 500 ppl, yikes!”, John is chilled, “Don’t worry you’ll do fine, you shine under pressure or in a crisis!”, Sophie flashed a kind smile at her best friend. Sophie is sweating while walking up to the podium, She stands solid & strong, she begins…”Hi, my name is Sophie James, some may know my dad Mick James from the band The Pythia. I was attacked a few days ago while walking alone. His intent was to sexually assault me, but I broke free & ran like hell. My mom has been physically & emotionally abused by my former step-dad for years. One night she fought back in self-defense, she was NOT acquitted due to being heavily intoxicated & spent five years behind bars, & her mental state was not well for most of her sentence, She WAS generously financially compensated by the state of Californa, however, which by the way did not take my anger away. Last year an eighteen-year-old boy was beaten up & raped by a ‘straight’ man for being gay while walking to school. Six months ago a petite 30-year-old man was attacked and raped in his own home. Sexual assault does NOT discriminate. My mom & those two men bleed & hurt emotionally and physically just the same regardless of gender. We must end sexism NOW, we must have gender equality NOW, we must have equal rights for all NOW, we must change mindsets & the way people think NOW! To men: We NEED your help! To women: We NEED your help, Thank you!”

A month passes by, Sophie & Carrie are grocery shopping at Whole Foods. “Sophie, I’m ready for us to get our own place together.”, “Mom, shouldn’t you get your own place first or move in by yourself to become adjusted to everything & then I will move in?”, “No, I have been waiting for this for six years, I can only adjust if you’re by my side. John can live with us too (flashing a quick smile).”, “mom, I don’t know, I think you should live there first.”, Carrie breathly mumbles “I am gonna have a nervous breakdown.”, “What mom?”. Carrie drops to the floor in hysterics “I NEED THIS, YOU’RE MY HEART AND I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT MY HEART!” Sophie is in shock “MOM, OH MY GOD GET OFF THE FLOOR!”, helping her up & running out the door holding her by her underarm & runs out. They’re sitting in Sophie’s car, her mother is calm. “So mom, what kind of furniture should we buy for our new place (flashing a smile)?” Carrie softly weeps.

Christine Krantz copyright 2018

Anna..

“Matty can you turn the music down, I can’t hear myself think” as 30 something Lauren brushes her platinum blonde mane while brushing her teeth. Matty grunts back, “Yeah”. “Hey, are you working today?” Lauren shouts back “Ya, going into the office for three hours to write two pieces that are stuck in my head & then I have a hair appointment”. “Hold on L someone is at the door” he swaggers to the door. three seconds later, “Lauren there is a girl here to see you”, “Who is it?” “Egg, (as he softly laughs) she said her name is Egg?” while walking towards the back of the house. Lauren walks to the door as she eyes a petite girl with a dark brown bob & an emerald nose ring “Hi, I’m Lauren can I help you with something?” “Hi Lauren, pretty name, by the way, I’m Anna Mancini, you donated an egg 18 years ago & well, I’m it (with an awkward smile)!”. Slightly stunned “You’re beautiful Anna, (feeling light-headed) um, do you want to come in”, ” Sure, thank you. Sorry to come so early and unannounced, I’m a student at Laguna Beach High school, I have a bad case of senioritis & skipping school to come to see you”. “Uh-oh, I hope that’s okay?”, “No worries it is, I’m all caught up with my studies & basically it’s ‘smooth sailing’ until I graduate”, “Okay, good” Lauren adds quickly.

Anna, both excited & nervous asks “Am I catching you at a bad time?”, “No, I was just on my way to the office for a couple of hours, would you like to come with me, some people bring their dogs to work so I’m sure it’s not a problem bringing a kid” Anna laughs. “Oh my god sorry, I didn’t mean for it to come out like that”, laughing “No worries I knew what you meant, sure!”, excited “OK, cool. Let me grab my bag & we can be off!”. As the girls walk to Lauren’s car, Anna asks “What do you do?”, “I’m a writer”. “Cool! I want to be a painter, well I am one know but would love to make a living at it!”, “Sweet, I can I see your work sometime?”. “YEAH, of course, I would love to show you!”. “Will your parents be mad that you’re here?”, “No, they’re cool. they trust me.” She smiles at Anna. Anna with her nose crinkled looking at Lauren “We have the same shaped eyes”, Lauren sticks out her long neck & peers in “What do ya know, we do. Your eye color is hazel, so pretty”, “Thank you, yours are too, dark brown?”, “Yup”!

As they both walk into her office building. Lauren sees Joe casually leaning himself at the reception desk. “Hey Joe, this is my new friend Anna (as she winks at her)!”, “Well hello there Anna, it’s nice to meet you!”, Anna shyly smiles while looking at the large male adult “Hi”. The girls are walking to Laurens cubicle, Anna brightly chirps “I turned eighteen yesterday!”, “Happy Birthday!”. “I wanted to meet you the second I became an adult but my annoying parents insisted on having a dinner & a cake, gag”. They laugh in unison, Lauren chirps back “I’m honored!”. Lauren sits in front of her computer & Anna plops down on the swivel chair & swivels around. “What do you write?”, Lauren contently smiles “I write announcements, Birthdays, wedding, engagements, births & anniversaries for The Laurel Canyon Ledger”, Anna chimes in “Cool”!. “What do you like to do Anna when you’re not painting or in school”, “I like to play with my little brother Milo, he’s three. I like to bake, watch movies & hang out with my friends”. “Are any of those ‘friends’ a special someone male, or female?” Anna goofily giggles, “Oh. sorry was that too forward or personal?” Anna, smiling from ear to ear “No, not at all, I think my friend Adam is smokin’ hot!”, a wide-eyed smiling Lauren “Nice!”. “So who was the guy who answered the door?”, with an easy going reply “Ahhhh that would be Matty, my soul spirit”. “Soul spirit? Cool, I never heard it used that way before”. “So, OK Anna I have to write an engagement of a same-sex couple & both of their names are Mary, you wanna help?”, “Sure, that sounds fun. Mary Mary, I love how our garden grows”, School-girl laughter erupts in unison.

Walking back to the car two hours later, Lauren turns to Anna “Are you hungry?”, “Starving!”, “OK then, let’s feed that belly”. Both with excited smiles as they hop in the car. “This is so easy, the conversation, my demeanor, it comes so naturally. I was so nervous.” Anna anxiously states, “I know what you mean & you’re right, it does” Lauren with her care-free reply, “Oh, & you never have to be nervous around me, please don’t. Feel free to talk about anything, my ears will always be attentive”. Anna shyly smiles. “So what are you in the mood for, burgers/sandwiches, salads, soup?”, Anna quips “Sushi?”. “Ahhhh a girl after my own heart, Sushi it is”. They’re delightfully dipping their colorful square fish in green gold & soy sauce. Lauren is blissfully content filling her belly with goodness “So tell me about your mom and dad!” Anna looks up while thinking “My dad Brian is so cool, he is a writer as well and a musician. He’s Italian & Latino”, “Wow that’s a nice ethnic mix, do you have a picture of him?” Anna pulls out her phone, Lauren is peering in “Oh my god he is so handsome”, “Thank you, I love my mom too”. “OK then” a soft laugh erupts from Lauren. Anna joins in “No, my mom is so loving and attentive, it’s just my dad is my best friend”. Anna takes her phone to Laurens’ face “Here’s my mom”, Lauren is looking at a face of an Indian woman with sea blue eyes. “Oh MY god Anna, she is beautiful!”, “I know, she is! She was born in Mumbai. She is a child psychologist”. “So tell me about your parents, oh & why did you donate an egg, thank you by the way?”, “You’re very welcome! OK well let’s see, my dad died when I was 8, cancer, & my mom was a fashion model in the 80’s & 90’s, now she is a fashion show designer & humanitarian. She organizes a lot of women’s foundations. Oh, wait for it (she pulls out her phone & sticks it in Anna’s face)”. “Oh my god Lauren your mother & I have the same exact nose!”, “I know right!”, “I can’t wait to meet her if you want me to, that is”, “Oh my, of course, I would love that!”. Lauren ponders “OK, so the donor egg question. Well, I was just starting my last year of college & I read an ad a couple, your parents were looking for a donor & would pay 20 grand, & as a poor college student my eyes widened, plus I thought it would be so cool to give a life to a childless couple”. “Cool, what did you do with the money, if you don’t mind me asking?”, “No, not at all. Books, tuition & I bought a car(with a bright smile)!”, Anna laughs. They get up & exit the restaurant. As they’re walking to the car, Lauren excitedly asks “Oh I have a hair appointment, do you want to come along? We can make it a spa day, my treat!”, “For sure!”

The girls are lounging in black puffy chairs while getting their toe & fingernails primped. “Oh, my god Lauren what happened to your big toe, it’s crooked with a blue tint!”, “Yeah, I know, thanks for the reminder. My first boyfriend dropped a 75-pound dumbbell on it, & it’s permanently blue”, Anna’s nose is crinkled “Eww. ouch”, they laugh in unison. “So, Anna what kind of hairstyle are you thinking about?”, “Hmmm platinum blonde with black tips on the ends (proud & confident)!”, “Oh, I don’t know, I don’t want to get in trouble with your parents”, “Oh, no it’s cool, my mother and I talk about me having that same color, a change-up since I’m graduating, it’s fine!”, “OK, Oh, where are you going to college in the fall?”, “an art school in LA”. Lauren smiles at hearing the location. Lauren walks out of the massage area, stunned while looking at Anna “Wow, you look beautiful”, “Thank you, oh can you take my pic so I can text it to my mom?”, “Sure, Oh who does she thinks you’re with?” , “Oh, my friend Julie, I think. Don’t worry I’m going to tell her all about you when I get home. We already talked about this before I turned eighteen. She’s gonna be so happy for me!”. Lauren is looking at Anna in awe, she puts her head down & gently weeps, “Lauren (worried) what’s wrong?”, “I’m…I’m just so happy you came into my life, I thought about this for eighteen years, ever since I made the donation & if anything came of it. I just want to be your friend & be there for you for the rest of my life. And give you whatever you want & need, whether it be money, emotional support, anything!” Anna is teary & quickly springs up from her seat “Awwww. I want us to be more than friends. Like sisters, best friends, family!”, “I would love that!”, the two tightly embrace. They’re walking back to Lauren’s car, she stops “Hey, Egg? (Anna smiles while turning her head towards Lauren’s face), I have a confession to make, I hope you don’t mind me saying this, but It will not take me more than two days to fall madly in love with you, kiddo (as she scruffles Anna’s black & blonde bob)”. Anna is beaming from ear to ear “Fine by me!”.

Christine Krantz copyrighted 2018

“Oh, no she di’nt”..

So, a few months back I was at a bar/club with some fine R&B pulsating throughout & dancing at the upstairs part of the establishment. I was in the corner w/some friends celebrating one of their birthdays & enjoying my mojito & the beats. Two of them dispersed to find a bathroom or grab a drink, I was contently looking around people watching & noticed a guy in the next corner about three feet away looking at me, I caught his eye & he caught mine. He had the most beautiful silky dark brown clear skin. I was looking out into the colorful lit dance floor, looked to my right & silky skin guy was looking at me & I did not look away. I raised my glass & said “Hey” & we walked towards each other, met halfway & stopped.

The conversation was easy, we liked each other’s smiles, we were cute haha. There were two girls next to us sharing a scorpion bowl, he was not with them. One of the girls looked like the shooter girl from earlier, the girl walking around with her tray selling colorful shooter shots downstairs. I glanced over & she glanced back “Oh, do you work here?” I said, “Uh no” she replied as in ‘bitch please’. “Oh, you look exactly like the girl from earlier selling the shooter shots” & turned all my attention to him, ‘the easy like Sunday morning’ guy.

We were chatting it up, talking about where we were from & what we did (I could feel the look-alike shooter girl looking and listening to me). We started dancing, well I was doing a goofy dance around him while he was keeled over smiling & then started dancing together. “I’ll be right back, you wanna drink?” he said, “No, I’m good. Oh, wait I’ll have a water, can you get me a water?” He nodded. The girl drinking the scorpion bowl made a b-line right towards him while he was at the bar. She was talking & I could feel what it was about & then they were talking together. I walked over to get a water & he walked over towards the bathrooms, she was staring at me “Is there a problem?” I asked, “No”, “Do you know him?” “No”, she said. “Because it seems like you have a problem or there is a problem & you confronted him about us or me”. & she gave me a whatever sneer, I said calmly “Just stay out of my business” & she pushed my shoulder with her hand, not a whole lot gets me mad, that did. Louder, “Stay the fuck out of my business & don’t touch me, bitch!”, I was horrified that I said that. What got me so mad was, she ‘thought’ she was intitled & it was her God-given right & her ALL & EVERY right to intervene & get in our business because her skin color was darker than mine, & she & he were more black than I. & she didn’t even know my ethnicity (actually I’m not, well if you even consider a little Spanish & African a lil’ blackish)! Next thing I know a swarm of six-foot-tall bouncers surrounded that girl & I, most were black, some were not, tensions were high. A calm bouncer approached me smiling “You wanna go downstairs?” he asked “Yes” & as we were walking away I looked back at the guy & he & I were looking sweetly into each other’s eyes, & I know for a fact we were both singing the Adele song to ourselves “We could’ve had it allllllllllllllll all all” as I was walking away.

I would never in my life recognize Divine or Daniel (I forget was a few months ago) if I ever saw him again. & the GIF above looked nothing like her, just thought it was funny. Actually, she was really petite & looked like a light-skinned Pam Grier. After the fact she had her head down & was a doe-eyed mute feeling guilty or trying to look all innocent, pathetic! I guess the point I’m trying to get across, is African American racial struggles really hurt me deep down, I can sometimes take it to heart & personal. And maybe the fact that I was a little older & our mindsets were different, but over a lighter fucking skin tone, she thought it was ALL her right to intervene & get in my business like that? Oh, no she di’nt! That guy & I were really enjoying talking to each other.

As I’m waiting outside my friends stumble out of the bar laughing their asses off, I lift up both of my arms over my head & yell “I JUST GOT KICKED OUT OF A BAR, I’M A WARRIOR”. I think the last time I got kicked out of a bar was in my early twenties when my friend got caught smoking weed in the bathroom stall out West. So myself & my hooligan lady pack went to the little dive around the corner. I wish more people could feel or be completely free, like the writer Candace Owens & not feel strapped to their past (her written words), or think any other ethnicity thinks that. But, then again everyone has their own individual story & you cannot stereotype or know how they’re feeling.

If equal pay & gender equality is prevalent in some companies and towns, it would be great if that could be spread out into the universe & have it be affected globally. K, thanks..

I’m sometimes puzzled when I hear about the gender equality & equal pay fight, protests & struggles in the news & globally. I’ve had groups of guy friends where gender equality was equal, & worked on sales teams w/both guys & gals in the office where we were paid equally for the same job. Gender equality really hasn’t affected me personally, & equal pay in the office, that I know of. So when I hear it happening, to me it seems like it’s happening in a parallel universe. But, I know it’s real & I want it to change (not really sure on how I go about that, though). I want to see real change in the near future, badly.

“Don’t shoot!”..

In the early 80’s myself, parents, sister & two brothers moved into our suburban three level house w/an attic (yes it was big for our little beings & bodies). A month before we moved, my sister would ask me every night before falling asleep in our shared bedroom “Do you want to move?” Yes, she was the annoying sister, intentionally of course. So that summer move-in day on a Saturday arrived. The elderly man/owner died in one of the rooms of our new house, that is actually one cool & a little creepy part of the story. The real estate agent mentioned to my parents that the previous owner owned a gun, hidden somewhere in the house, he had no relatives or he didn’t tell anyone so no one knew where. When my parents relayed the news to us out of caution, our little eyes widened up w/excitement upon hearing, to kids ‘it was hella cool news’. So the race & treasure hunt began for myself & my siblings to find it. So the whole summer we looked all over, thoroughly. Up & down, high & low & by the end of summer our young tired minds were sure the gun was not in OUR house. Even at one point, I almost convinced my parents to bash down a wall, I was so sure it was behind this particular wall. After this walls wallpaper was stripped off there was a sketch of a skeleton playing the piano (& it was a really good drawing too, not from an amateur). I screamed, “THE GUN IS IN THE WALL, I KNOW IT IS!” My parents turned to look at each other & I was gone, went off looking for a sledgehammer and when I returned I knew bashing in a wall was too good to be true by my parent’s expressions. “No, we’re not knocking down this wall. If the gun is behind there, it will keep us safe & is staying there.” So, convinced once again that the gun ‘was’ in our house, behind the wall, my siblings & I started our new school year & eventually forgot about it.

A few months later as I was looking out the window that winter day, at 8 inches of snow I yelled, “Yeah, no school” & did a happy dance in my pink onesies! My older brother & sister & I were up in the playroom on the 3rd floor (my little brother was downstairs). My brother John was rolling around the room on this little square wooden bench w/wheels, he had his hands underneath it to support himself. All I heard him say was “A trap door”, as he slid it open he pulled out a box of bullets. I watched as all this unfold with razor-sharp focus ready to jump in & try to avert the problem, then he pulled out another box & opened it & screamed, “It’s a gun”! He then pointed in my sister’s direction & she screamed, I shot up quick on my feet realizing with a solution & ran downstairs to my mother screaming, “MA, WE FOUND THE GUN!” Everything was a blur after that, so she must’ve ran up the stairs grabbed the bullets & gun & hid them till my father got home. Hours later I watched my dad take the gun out of the box in the kitchen, knowing it didn’t have any bullets in it, he put only his arm w/the gun in hand out the back door pointed up & pulled the trigger….The gun w/out bullets didn’t go off. A couple of weeks later my father came home from work & said “We’re going to the gun range with Mr. McKenzie, the guy I work with tomorrow, he owns guns”, I didn’t know how or what to think about that. So my turn was up, it was an outside range. My father had to hold my eight-year-old frame down by my shoulders so I wouldn’t thrust back ten feet & crack my head. I don’t know about my head cracking, but I do know after shooting it if he didn’t secure me by my shoulders I surely would’ve shot back ten feet & landed on my ass.

I didn’t enjoy the experience, it was not pleasant or thrilling for me at all (& I was young, if I didn’t enjoy shooting a gun as a kid I definitely wouldn’t enjoy it as an adult). And I have no desire to shoot a gun at a range ever again.

Science is cool, but not very forgiving..

And that is why I love it, find it beyond fascinating…..Science owns & controls us, we don’t own or control science, respectfully. It is a never-ending living entity, we are its subjects & we need to listen to what it’s telling us & document it accordingly & carefully work on correcting it if we see the need w/out disrupting that natural progression of it. It’s dangerous to ignore what it’s telling us or to make up our own finding & form our own opinion of it. It’s dangerous to dismiss it & to disagree with it, again it controls us not the other way around & we need to respect that. Global warming is real, & the slow demise of it on our planet is partly due to humans/humanity, humans are ruining our planet & once we all know that & to respect & work beside it, things could/will change for the better. Taking over & forming our own opinions is disrespectful & wrong. The article in The Hill about the CDC being banned from using the phrases ‘science & evidence-based findings’ from official documents from the current administration…..That is part of the problem with some power hungry political brains in Washington & some scientists, about ignoring/sweeping it under the rug & dismissing science-based facts, taking over & forming their own opinions & findings of global warming, again humans do not control it. Science & science-based findings do not lie (When whichever scientist is documenting it correctly, mind you) & it is very very dangerous for the current administration to ignore these findings, to take control over it & form their own opinion. It’s ignorant & arrogant & will hurt our planet very badly in the long run. Humans always try to take over something & own it when it’s sometimes beyond their scope & control, & they shouldn’t. It is always their first instinct, & when it comes to global warming and some parts of science they’re wrong. Oh, boy do I miss Barack Obama’s administration.

Back to my love & respect for science….OK, with industries like technology & finance, for instance, it is black & white with right & wrong answers & can be taken over & controlled by people. With science it can not, it is not black & white, with right or wrong answers. Again it controls us & we need to respectfully stand beside it, listen & document it precisely & accordingly & work w/it. In science life will always find a way, in science there are endless beyond endless possibilities that can never be controlled (it would be just wrong) & can’t be completely understood by humans, a lot of it is 100% unpredictable & I find great comfort in that, it is the great unknown (not to mention THE GREAT UNKNOWN of our solar system, my bad, can’t believe I almost forgot that). Humans, the planet, the world we live in is about & is science. It’s not to be controlled or ran by humans, it’s only to be respected & worked by & on its side. Btw this piece is not a comparison of science/evolution & religion, I believe both exist in this world. I believe in some sort of otherworldy celestial beings. I hope the next elected US president in 2020 or 2024 to be a scientist or from scientific field very badly! I think it is so important & needed!

I work in the clinical trial medical research field (the lab I work with detects cancer on a molecular level), & those medical researchers got it down. They listen to it, they understand & give it the respect it needs & knows the importance of working beside it & not working over or above it. Btw I just love this quote below, & it has nothing to do w/not getting involved & protecting the human & animal species when the time arises, as we 100% should.

“When we think we have something figured out & 100% completely confident about science, or species close to becoming extinct, life will always find a way. And science will always have another way.”

I must’ve been Indian in my past life..

If such a thing exists….I just don’t know how else to explain it, it only happens w/people from India. Ever since my teens & exposed to Hinduism & the Indian culture I’ve had a natural understanding, a deep bond and instant connection with Indian (men, women, old or young it doesn’t matter) people & their culture. It’s an instantaneous connection, it never fails, now I just don’t know if I just adore the people (they’re so kind, laidback & so so funny), culture, food (not too crazy for curry though, but everything else I love) or country, or we have a similar humor & we’re just peaceful souls. Or the fact that I wanted so bad to be an Indian woman, where I can wear jewels on my face, a sari & a dupatta scarf, not to mention they’re the most beautiful women. And I absolutely adore Hinduism, I love the fact that they have many gods, both male & female I might add. Radha Krishna is my favorite (pictured above) they’re collectively known within Hinduism as the combination of both the feminine as well as the masculine aspects of God. It is believed that Krishna enchants the world, but Radha “Enchants even Him. Therefore She is the supreme goddess of all. Radha Krishna”.